Update 16 - The Drive

Yesterday was awesome for other reasons besides getting to hold River. I was reunited with my wife. The whirlwind we have been in for a week led us down different paths. We were apart for long periods and have a difficult time connecting emotionally the nights we do get to share a bed together because of physical exhaustion. Conversations have been more about logistics and physical care rather than emotional connection and healing. 

My posts with updates about Fielder, Miller, and especially River have been detailed and specific. I’ve been trying to be so strong for all of them, but in doing so I’ve abandoned my wife. People are craving more from Carly. I hadn’t realized it until yesterday, but I am too. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. She has been on her own path, but yesterday our paths converged and for that I am thankful. 

Being with her alone during the drive made me remember our first drive together; our first date. 

We met in late summer 2004. I had just finished my first summer with M-Fuge. They wouldn’t let us travel for a lot of reasons. I missed a lot of stuff that summer. Don’t get me wrong. That summer was transformative. I had failed a lot at Tech. The summer was a chance to thrive. I felt in my element the entire time. I met many great people. We had a staff of almost 30. They were like family.

One in particular sticks out in my mind. There are many eternally meaningful events from that summer, but the memory that makes me laugh the hardest was in a Wendy's drive through. We were sleep deprived and hopped up on an energy drink called Bawls. We were not making our best decisions at 11:00pm high on guarana, the active ingredient in the soda. Several other members of the band were with me in the white 15 passenger van. Jared had an epic idea. He would order with the bull horn used to wrangle kids during a weekly rec activity called: The Ultimate Relay. 

He bullhorned a request for a Junior Bacon cheeseburger with fries. The feedback in the attendants earpiece was so bad that she babbled some indistinguishable mix of profanity and blubbering frustration before clearly exclaiming, “WE CLOSED!”

Oh how they hated us. Where is Jared? Anyone know?

I left that summer with many other memories, but I missed my friends. Most of my high school Buddies were living in Athens all summer taking classes and making memories of their own. My Fishing Buddy MT talked me into hanging out with some girls that he and Jonas had been hanging out with all summer. I didn’t know the girls, but I’m always up for meeting new people. 

I picked him up and drove to the east side split level house. It had four bedrooms, and was affectionately titled: “Houston County.“ (for you non middle Georgia folks it’s pronounced House-ton). All 4 Girls that lived there were from Middle Georgia. I met Leslie first. Her parents owned the house. It was about 8:00pm when we decided to play Clue. A raucous group entered the house from a night out in Athens. Leading the way was Brittany Coskery Guzinski who was also from Warner Robins and in town visiting ”Houston County.” They kept singing a song I had never heard. “Let’s get it started?” Some guy from California was all about the music. I didn’t connect with him really, but the song he introduced later proved to be a song that reminds me of that night to this day. 

The crowd filed up the stairs one by one. The first glimpse I had of Carly was her beautiful auburn colored hair. I’ve always had a thing for redheads. In the 7th grade my first girlfriend in winder was a stunning redhead who apart from Jon Terrell was my first best friend in a new place. Later that year, I danced to strawberry wine at the 7th grade dance with another beautiful redhead drummer who had Orange drumsticks. Does it get any better? Yes. I met her 8 years later, and her name is Carly Decker. 

We played Clue. I don’t even remember the game really. Just the company. The Redhead, as she later was called by all my friends at Tech, was wearing a blue shirt from American Eagle with a green Drumset on it. Her hair captured my attention, her beauty held it steady for the night, but her personality captured it and wouldn’t let it go. 

Clue ended around 10:00pm. I can’t be sure, but I do remember what happened afterward. MT was tired and caught a ride home with someone else. When the dust settled, only three of us were left: Leslie, Carly, and me. 

We talked all night. I shared the story about the megaphone. I shared how exhausting the summer was. We worked 7 days a week 15+/- hour days with the exception of Thursday nights off from 3:00 until 7:00am the next day. Later in the summer when we were in good rhythm and we completed the prep for each subsequent week we might get off from noon Saturday until noon on Sunday. It was grueling.

I listened to their stories. About Carly’s Middle Georgia College Days. We talked about our college major. Non of us graduated with the same degrees we were pursuing at that time. About how they were getting close to MT and Jonas through the prince avenue college ministry. The night was special. I ended up leaving after midnight. M-fuge has reset my circadian rhythm and I didn’t think anything of it. I thought it was normal to hang out with friends talking about life until the wee hours of the morning.

I later found out at our Wedding or maybe it was after we got engaged that Carly and Leslie talked for another 30 minutes after I left. They recapped their days and did what girl roommates do in college, talk about boys. Jk. At some point that night Carly teased Leslie that she thought I liked her. Leslie rebuffed that she thought Carly had a thing for me and finally asked her, “well what do you think of him?” Carly flipped her beautiful hair and responded, “I don’t know. He’s got potential!”

The following week they invited me to the fair in Perry. I went for the first time that year, and I’ve been going almost every year since. Fielder has been 3 times. It’s a family tradition. Check it out. It has something for everyone. Especially the hypnosis show. Remind me to tell you about that one. Later. 

As I left Warner Robins that weekend I stopped by Carly’s house and asked her if we could hang out together again the following week. She said yes. 

I went to Athens on the following Thursday night for an intramural football game excited to see the Red Head. MT and Jonas were on the team, but I didn’t pay them any attention. Afterwards a group of us went to Zaxbys and when done I asked Carly if I could drive Her home in the Ranger. She said yes. 

I drove. The Ranger was a stick shift and I never got out of third gear. We cruised. We explored south and east Athens. We found the Elder Mill Covered Bridge in the dark. It’s a fun monument to that first date together. Later I would ask Carly to marry me next to that bridge, but that’s another story. I’m getting ahead of myself. 

We talked about our past relationships. Talked about expectations. We talked about our ideas of what dating looked liked. By the end of the night we had talked together for another 2+ hours and there was no doubt in my mind which Middle Georgia Girl was capturing my heart. 

I continued to hold River’s hand and realized it was getting late. It was 3:54pm. She is a week and a day old. Yesterday at this time we sang an impromptu happy birthday. Carly just happened to see the clock and we seized the moment.

I promised Carly I would be home for dinner. River is still stable, and I’m not sure if her urine output is increasing, but she had a significant pee-pee while we were changing her diaper earlier in the day. It wasn’t ol’-faithful, but was enough to feel like a win. I hope to be able to finish telling River about How I met her mother tomorrow with Carly. Stay tuned. I promise not to drag this story out like the tv series “How I Met Your Mother,” only to end it in a crappy rushed last post/season. We have time to really help River understand how her mother is great.